Tuesday, May 10, 2016


I have been reading this book "How to Really Love Your Child" for a while now. It was recommended by a French couple that we met a few months ago. I am not the type who reads a lot of self-help books, but when I met their five well-behaved children I knew I should listen to their recommends, read this book and learn their secret to raising up children.
The book was written by the late Dr. Ross Campbell, same author to many other self-help book such as "How to Really Love Your Teen" and co-author with Gary Chapman for "The 5 Languages of Love for Children".
The first time I heard the title of this book, I thought that the book sounds absurd, of course I love my son and will love any future children. Why would I need a book to tell me how to love my own children if I already love them? Well, the big realization and misunderstanding is that we think we are loving our children the correct way. Maybe the same way that our parents loved us, or the way that society has taught us to love them. In this book, the 'real way' to truly love your child is presented, and that is to love with 'unconditional love'. If you read this book, you will see these two words throughout it. The main role that the parent must play in the life of their own offsprings is to love them unconditionally, no matter what the situation is. Of course as parents we will try to satisfy all the direct needs of our children, such as shelter, food, health, clothing, etc. But we might not realize that none of those basic needs will make a child as happy as the unconditional love that they are entitled to receive.
Dr. Campbell points out that the foundation to good child rearing is unconditional love. There are three main ways to show your unconditional love to your child: eye contact, physical contact, and focused attention.
I strongly recommend you to read this book for all parents. Even if you feel like you already know how to love your child, it may open your eyes to another approach.
And please remember that all children need your unconditional love no matter what. From this book I learnt that one common reason why children are not behaving appropriately is because they do not have their "love tanks full" (this is the author's way to call it) and the children are asking their caregiver if they truly love them above all.

Hope you enjoy reading the book! Let me know your comments!

PS: I am so excited to tell you that I am joining a book club this month. The book that we are starting with is "Me Before You".  I can't wait to read it and tell you about it. Also, there a movie coming out in June 3rd about the book.

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